For Susan Thomas

You've been my friend for years.
You've been here through thick and thin.
And I've always appreciated that.
I dont know if I ever took enough time to show you.
Now that your gone I see how I took you for granted.
Never really understood how much you meant to me till I lost you.
We all miss you, miss the woman we used to know.
I'm scared that because of how all this went down.
That we'll never get the real susan back again.
I still dont even know if I could truly look at you the same way.
It's hard not having you around.
The party's aren't the same.
And although we laugh and seem like we're enjoying ourselves.
Inside we feel empty... because without you being a part of our lives.
It feels incomplete and wrong.
Without you to fill that void everything just seems off.
Everytime the phone rings I wonder if it's you.
Wonder where you are... and if you're okay.
What you're thinking and if you are even in your right mind anymore.
It's still difficult seeing you act the way you are.
I'm so used to seeing a strong creative woman.
Someone who's smile lights up the room.
I can't invision you without that smile.
The last time I saw you it killed me inside to see you in that state.
Paranoia, anger, anguish ....
you looked miserable.
And thats not the woman I know.
I refuse to accept it.
I just want you to come back....
For everything to return to the way it was.
I want my best friend back