Love

It always seems like you need something so bad until you finally attain it and realize that you want so much more. It’s even harder when human emotions are caught up in it all. I’ve always been so thirsty to fall in love but it seems as if every time I think I’m in love that I end up either getting hurt or hurting someone else. I know love isn’t ever going to be a walk in the park, but I feel like if it’s real that no matter how much doubt you had about it at the end of the day you’d truly know that it was love. In this day and age the word “love” is thrown around with little relevance to the true meaning. What is love anyways? A human emotion based off lust and co-dependency? An obsession? To be honest I don’t even know what love is anymore. Maybe some day someone will redefine the meaning of love. I guess in a way I have an idea what I’d like love to be; although to be honest I feel like to some people it may be too much to ask. It’s easy for me to give my all to a person because I’ve always been a selfless person. I’ve always put others before myself and as much as I think that it’s a positive quality I feel like it does contribute to my downfall at times. It seems as if most of the people I come across and coexist with end up extorting my kindness and using it as a weakness. It’s tainted the way I coexist with people. I’m always ready for the worst case scenario. I just wish for once I could get over my past enough to not stigmatize my present relationships. It’s important that I don’t’ let my past dictate my future, but I can’t take my past lightly as I never want to make the same mistake twice. It’s like a vicious cycle; damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I have faith that there will come a time in my life where I’ll look back at things and just laugh, maybe even thank God that I went through the things that I did. To extent I am glad that I’ve experienced as much as I have in my life time because at such a young age, I’m full of so much wisdom. I don’t always practice what I preach but I don’t think anyone could possibly practice everything they preach except God himself.

The World Today

It’s discerning that basic morals and values seem to be just as scarce as the natural resources we’ve depleted. As each day passes it’s apparent that we are in what can be interpreted as the end of days. Just recently there was a massive explosion in the Gulf of Mexico which has led to the biggest oil spill in history leaking hundreds of thousands of oil into the ocean each day. Unfortunately all efforts to cap the oil leak have failed so gallons upon gallons of oil continue to spew into the ocean daily. The year 2010 hasn’t even reached its halfway point and already we’ve had a handful of natural disasters, murders involving innocent people, and even big businesses are contributing to the chaos by continuing to pollute the atmosphere around us.
Society has been led to believe that without money we are powerless. They’ve cornered us into poverty while at the same time dangling the idea of prosperity just far enough from our reach. Deep in my heart I don’t believe it has to be this way. For as long as I can remember I’ve always encouraged people to come together and to put aside our differences with the hope that together we can reclaim our future. However I fear that if we don’t do something soon our future and our time here on this earth will may be limited.
Unfortunately years of neglect and abuse have left our environment depleted and have set us on a crash course to total annihilation. I cannot say with any certainty that any of this can be undone as even scientists our doubtful. I do know however that the time we have left shouldn’t be used to fight amongst ourselves over the petty matters and materials we're arguing over now. No one person is exactly the same and to force someone into believing certain things or living a certain way is completely impossible. If we can’t embrace people for the goodness in their hearts and not for their differences they have we'll be bound by the ignorance we entertain.
Often times I get frustrated because this whole concept isn't hard to understand; at least I don't feel it is. I could hardly believe my ears when I was watching the news the other night to hear some guy shot this 23 year old man for letting his dog pee on his lawn. This man was so absorbed in his award winning lawn that he felt the extreme need to shoot another person for an animal merely doing what they've done for hundreds of thousands of years. If it were my award winning lawn and I was that uptight about it, I'd have purchased fencing to insure I didn't have to murder someone for something their animal might do. Unfortunately for this guy, the only grass he'll see is the grass in the yard at whatever prison he's incarcerated in. I can see it now, first day in general population... "What you in for?"... "2nd Degree Murder... killed a man... his dog peed on my lawn." Yeah Good Old Bubba is going to have a ball with that one! All I know is people have officially lost their minds! I don't know which is worse at times us or them...