Thankful

It's not often I feel the need to blog about positivity mostly because of the fact that when I'm in a positive mind set, I'm usually out and about busy with things that are making happy. However I felt compelled to sit here and take the time out of my day to blog about everything that I am thankful for. As most of you have read I've been going through some rough times. I'm sure my writing has reflected my conflicted state of mind. I have been going through great lengths to cut out the unnecessary complications in my life to allow me to move on and progressively move forward with things as opposed to being caught up and brought down by drama.

For those of you who read my blog concerning my now ex-boyfriend things are still where they were before. Although I recently spoke to him about a day or two ago. He went missing for a few weeks on everyone when I secretly had called to check up on him. I may be angry at him for what he did to me in our relationship however I was friends with him long before we ever started dating. He claims he's doing okay though. He evidently bagged the stupid bitch Nicole he was kicking it with... about time. However, you never really know with him; he could just be saying that. All I know is that whatever he decides to do is his own problem and not mine anymore. Thank You Jesus!

I have acquired a new set of friends that thankfully are close to home as opposed to in the city. They live right down the street in Bellwood actually. There is this one guy in the little group I've adopted as friends that I'm secretly into, although I'm sure everyone knows my intentions. I haven't really had a chance to speak with him one on one except for when we were in the car the other day going to the corner store. However in that short period of time I'm well aware he at least reciprocates feelings when it comes to the physical attraction towards me. We'll see what happens. At this point I'm just playing it by ear.

I've been going out a lot lately... I think mostly because the weather has been so beautiful. I've been getting a lot of attention from the opposite sex since I've been going out. It's been a nice self esteem booster especially since I've put on a few pounds the past few months. When I'm under a lot of stress it seems I always gain wait. Food I suppose is my stress reliever although I know that's not always a great thing. Anyways that is besides the point. The fact is even though I gained a few pounds I'm still one hot mama! I'm looking forward to the weekend! I totally forgot I was working on Sunday morning though. Not only that but it's also Mother's Day. I'm going to try to do something really special for my Mother even though sometimes she drives me up the wall.

Sunday should prove to be quite interesting since Friday and Saturday I've decided that I finally need to let loose and do a little bit of partying! Of course I won't do anything to over the top! But still a girl needs to indulge every now and then right!? Plus today is Cinco De Mayo so I definitely need to compensate for that since I can't do it big tonight!

Lately I've been having so many mixed feelings and emotions. I'm not depressed but I'm not completely happy either. I suppose I'm at the crossroad in my life now where I know what I need to do, I'm just overwhelmed with the amount of change I am going to have to undergo in order to get where I really want. I'm so used to going out everyday however if I want to save money, I have to cut down on my expenses. My biggest problem as of right now is going out everyday. I can't stand to sit in the house bored and watch TV. I've never been the type to watch anything on TV unless it's cartoons (Family Guy), music videos (but MTV & VH1 never play those anymore) or Scrubs & House. I seldom sit down to watch anything anymore... I can barely sit still for a movie if it's not exciting enough. Anyways I guess I'm just at the point where I don't want to stay home. I want to be out meeting new people and living life. I hate that this recession has forced us all to have cut down on things that we enjoy. I sense a political rant if I don't stop and this blog in particular is supposed to be positive energy so let's move on! :)

My father hasn't been on my ass as much lately which has been nice. I feel so free when I don't have to come home at a certain time. For a long time I see that was the big issue that was pushing us away from each other. When he gives me a little more freedom I see that we don't bump heads as much. I know that so badly he wants to do the fatherly thing all the time and be a parent, but I'm almost 23 years old. I can make decisions on my own... and if I make the wrong one... I will deal with the repercussions. I am glad though that he's starting to acknowledge that.

Other than that my job is doing good. I haven't been as stressed out as I normally am there because my boss finally came out and told everyone she was pregnant... 7 months after the fact but hey at least we know now. Her spirits have seemed to lift after she told everyone. She's been a lot more bearable and I haven't been criticized as much. I even got an edible arrangment last week for Administrative Professionals Day! :) So I've been much happier at work since my boss has lightened up. :) Anyways enough of me blabbing... let me get back to work and I'll write more later. I always do :)

Thank You God for another day on this beautiful Earth :)